The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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