why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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