I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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