plz talk dirty to me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
