she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
