i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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