i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
