I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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