Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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