I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
