That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
