My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
