I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
