The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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