You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
