Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
