Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
