I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
