Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
