I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
