it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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