they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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