I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
