good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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