Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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