I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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