I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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