I got chris browned last night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
