But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
