My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
