:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you made out with another girl for some wings
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
