Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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