i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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