Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize