Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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