come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's never too late to be topless.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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