That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
