Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize