I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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