is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
50% drunk capacity currently
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
