who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
