I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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