Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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