I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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