worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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