Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
