Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
