so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
