Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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