Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
