Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
