Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize