ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
