imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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